Sometimes, the search for adult fun is not just about what but who you can do. In fact, who said you can only limit yourself to one partner?
The swinger lifestyle continues to attract singles and couples who are looking for a risque way to have some fun. But even if it’s trendy, how come swinging is not as common?
On the lookout for sexual satisfaction?
Wondering what it’s like to swing?
Curious about the swinger lifestyle?
Don’t know where to look?
Are wary of the arrangement?
Are a first-timer?
No need to fret
Now that online sites for swingers are widely available, you have endless possibilities on your plate. Read on as we thoroughly detail everything you need to know about swinging—the what, why, and hows of it.
If you watch the motion of a moving swing set, the rider goes higher and wilder as the swing moves back and forth. The higher it gets, the more exhilarating the activity becomes, and kids (and kids-at-heart) always feel like they’re the king of the world.
So is swinging as a sexual lifestyle.
The swinger lifestyle is all about the swapping of sexual partners within a threesome or group. They go back and forth, intending to satisfy each other’s needs. It’s a lifestyle because this exchange rarely happens once; if the partners click, the swinging can eventually and quickly become a habit.
Why swinging came to be
In America, swapping partners came to be in the ‘50s; Air Force officers in California exchanged women—not just any women, but their wives and girlfriends for fun. As for the rest of the world, swapping partners isn't something exclusive to co-workers only. Perfect strangers who want a little thrill frequent sex parties and orgies that naturally led to some swapping or partners. This growing trend continued up to the ‘60s and ‘70s—the era fondly dubbed as the Sexual Revolution.
From risque and secretive moves, the swinging lifestyle became more prominent when the swapping happened openly. Rumour has it that couples attend parties and deposit their keys on a punch bowl. Before the night ends, fish a random key out. You’re going home with the person who owns the key you hold.
Now with the Internet on the rise, websites dedicated to swingers are also operating globally. Interestingly, it’s one of the biggest and most active sites.
It may have started from swapping the wives of friends to letting luck decide who you’re going home with at night, but the swinger lifestyle is more advanced and accommodating now. With the Internet, it’s not about who’s available—the search happens because you have more options.
The swinger lifestyle puts your preferences, kinks, and fantasies into substantial consideration. Now, you get to search and choose who’s the closest to satisfying your needs.
So, how do people manage to find another couple or an individual who's more than willing to swing? There are two common ways to do so:
Go to a swinger club
You can manage to find swinging couples or adventurous singles by going to a swinger club. If not, you can ask your friends and acquaintances for tips. Who knows, your friends may point you in the right direction.
Register at an online swingers site
Arguably the fastest and easiest way to get the swinging started is online. There are tons of swingers sites to choose from; register with ease and take your sweet time flirting and interacting with other swingers. Aside from the undeniable fact that this method is more comfortable than going offline, joining a swingers site presents you with multiple options at once. There's a lot of swingers that you even have the luxury to customise the filters according to your preference and still see more than one option.
Plus, swinger sites are relatively safe compared to when you present yourself offline. Online, you're cocooned in the blanket that is your anonymity. You can thoroughly check out the swinger first before you make plans to see each other in real life. Lastly, just because it's online doesn't mean you lose contact with the parties. Some online swingers sites promote events and swingers parties near you—no need to feel left out.
When it comes to starting your swinging journey, it seems like swinging online gives you more pros than cons.
We already established that swinging means the constant exchange of sexual partners; usually, romantically linked partners with you. So if you’re already with someone, why in the world are you still swinging?
It works differently for every relationship, but these are top five reasons why people swing:
1. They aren’t for monogamy
Polyamorous or open relationships may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but these do exist. Some people fall in love with two or more. Some successfully manage to establish multiple consensual and satisfactory relationships. Swinging is just one type of relationship they might be inclined to do.
2. Sexual satisfaction
In this modern age, love wins. The colours of the rainbow shine bright as ever with platforms and policies geared towards inclusivity. Interestingly, swinging is no different. Especially for couples who are bisexual or pansexual, swinging becomes a healthy way for them to satisfy their sexual needs. Needs that the biological makeup of their partner can’t satisfy.
3. Sexual exploration
The only way to know if your theory works is to test it. For singles or couples who are looking to add more oomph into their sexual life, swinging can be a radical experience. Singles can get to explore the various ways to trigger their release. Couples who want to break the monotony can revitalise their relationship with a new lover or two.
These casual dating sites can help you sexually explore, too!
Sometimes, a couple consciously knows they’re sexually attracted to someone new. Since they know it’s just their body talking, they try so hard not to give in because they do not want to split up with the love of their life. But the itch never goes away—in time, this becomes their unravelling. So swinging becomes the easy fix. By allowing your partner to sleep with someone else—and taking part in the fun—you save your relationship.
5. Trust exercise
Or it’s the complete 180—swinging enhances trust between partners. Lovers who are into swinging are somehow capable of drawing a definite, bold line between love and sex. The activity is no more than a way to induce pleasure—it’s like a cold drink or good swim after a sweltering day. No more, no less.
As mentioned, every swinger has his reasons. But for you who’s only thinking about doing it, what can you get out of swinging?
If you’re not 100% sure if you should swing or not, maybe these benefits can help you decide:
The expert’s touch
Figures show that most of the swingers are experienced lovers—married couples or mature singles who’ve mostly done it all. If you’re a young bud or cub looking for new experience, swinging will utterly give you that and more. You’re under the care of knowing hands, so enjoy!
Boundaries are respected
No one knows boundaries better than happy swinging couples do. Swingers are toeing such a fine line; one misstep and their relationship or marriage go down the drain.
They keep close to their boundaries and appreciate if you draw the line, too.
For those who are only in it for the sex, this utter respect for boundaries is a blessing. The participants will make sure that there will be no feelings involved.
As for more physical barriers, swingers will be respectful, too. Since mutual pleasure is the end goal, they’ll be more than willing to listen to your to-dos and no-gos in bed.
An understanding community
Swingers sites are one of the biggest in the online dating world for a reason: swinging is a safe space and avenue to explore and satisfy your needs. For first-timers, it’s natural to be afraid, wary, or hesitant; the swinger community’s been there. They’ll understand your hesitations, respect your wishes for privacy, and even follow through with your wants and needs.
And once the deed is done, these swingers can even become habitual sexual partners or even acquaintances you shared good memories with.
The claim that swingers sites enjoy one of the most significant populations is not for clout—for example, the Swingers Date Club or SDC has a global community of over three million users and counting. Granted, this swingers site started in the ‘90s, but even new sites such as Passion.com and SwapFinder rake in millions of users.
Why exactly do singles and couples sign up at swingers sites?
It’s a lifestyle, yes, but it takes quite a lot of effort and money to swing. For starters, getting in touch with couples or singles who are into swinging can be challenging and time-consuming.
Signing up at the swingers site of your choice eliminates almost half of the lengthy process. For example, you don’t have to leave the house to try and score a date. There’s no need to get shy about asking numbers and whatnots—your sole focus is finding the single or couple who meets your needs.
The beauty of swingers sites is that all it takes to meet several members at once is to sign up. Apart from access to millions of global members, swingers sites also give you the chance to screen out potential matches according to your location and preferences. You can be as selective as you’d like; swingers sites have singles, couples, and even groups who are more than ready to have fun with you.
Live out your fantasies
Apart from a variety of men and women, swingers sites are also home to many amateur and professional adult content. This added feature ensures you have quite a lot of options—a member, video, or blog post even—to satisfy your sexual cravings.
Also, most swingers sites offer comprehensive profiles you can use to expound what your sexual fantasies are. Sites like 99Flavors even devise personality and sexual compatibility quizzes that may help you assess if the suggested single or couple is on the same page as you. After all, swinging is all about unattached good sex—make sure you’ll have the best one.
But how do you ensure you’ll have the best one? In fact, how does one become successful on swingers sites?
Just because it’s easier to find your next hot date on swingers sites, doesn’t mean the process is not the least challenging. If you do not put in the effort, it is possible that you won’t be able to successfully match and meet up with someone even while on premium.
So, how does one become successful on swingers sites? These necessary steps can make or break you A-game:
1. Post great photos
In this day and age, your smartphones make good cameras. There’s no excuse for you to post pictures that are from years ago—low quality, blurry, and not looking like the current you at all. The thing about swingers sites is that physical attraction plays a significant role. Gain the upper hand by choosing great photos that allow others to view you in your best light.
Make it a rule to upload recent photos (one year tops is the most ideal). Choose one where the lighting’s great, the angle works best, and you feel confident. It’s your choice if you’ll post NSFW snaps; it won’t hurt if you post multiple images to showcase your work and play modes fully.
2. Complete your profile
Ask yourself, aren’t you going to skip a user with only one photo and a threadbare profile? With millions of users on swingers sites, we usually eliminate those who do not have much to offer, profile-wise.
If you don’t want yours to be discarded immediately, take the time to complete your profile. Feature your interests, physique, and wittiness with your profile. Be your own advertiser and watch how messages quickly come in day by day.
3. Do the talking
Don’t you hate it when it seems like the conversation is rolling all thanks to your efforts? Make sure you do not do the same. Go ahead and be witty when you chat with another member.
The trick to enjoy a flowing conversation is to have several questions at hand. Other than the small talk, you can also use their profile as a topic reference. You may discuss any hobby or kink you share or find interesting to encourage the other party to converse with you actively.
4. Be your own protector
It’s all fun and games until you find out your security, identity, and finances are compromised because of malicious individuals at swingers sites. The best way to avoid this situation? Safeguard your privacy and information.
Take note, report, and block of users who are asking pertinent details such as your full name, email address, and bank account details. As much as possible, stick to your alias until you are a hundred and one percent sure that the person or couple you’re fooling around with can be trusted.
5. Practice safe sex
Let’s be real: when we swing, we don’t want accidental pregnancies or infections, just good sex. And that’s how practising safe sex comes in—observe proper hygiene, get yourself tested, and bring your own contraceptives.
It’s rare to find adult dating sites, including swingers sites, offer their services pro bono. Premium subscriptions often become the basis of a member’s authenticity; after all, who pays first before scamming, right?
Subscribing to a premium plan is an obvious expense. If you’re the type who loses interest quickly or is wary of swinging, maybe purchasing a monthly plan is too much, too soon.
The good news is that most swingers sites allow free accounts to explore for as long as they wish. You can look around the site of your choice to get a feel of the site, and to make sure your goals are on the same page as what it offers. But ultimately, you’ll have to subscribe to make the most out of any swingers site.
If you’re sure and ready to get swinging, becoming a paying member is an unavoidable, yet practical move.
Subscribing to premium grants you access to most, if not all, of the swingers sites functionalities. Apart from the freedom to interact, premium packages often tie-up offers that boost your popularity, send Icebreakers on your behalf, allow you to view the adult video of your choice, and more.
Budget-wise, subscribing to a monthly plan is more pocket-friendly than, say, frequenting swinging parties in the hopes of mingling with potential matches. With it, you get to filter freely and flirt even without leaving your house.
With all the features and possibilities a premium account offers, it’s an understatement to say that the chances of swinging to a perfect single or couple match are high.
There’s a reason why swinging is a lifestyle—not everyone can manage it. The arrangement is radical and liberating, but the commitment to completely separate love from sex requires the utmost trust and confidence in your relationship or self.
If swinging is something that will make your relationship or life exciting, signing up at a swingers site of your choice won’t hurt. Comparing the benefits to the cost, your sex life may be profusely thanking you if you do sign up.
So, what are you waiting for? View our top swingers site picks to get the swinging started.
Chris Pleines Founder of Datingscout and Author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies"
Chris founded Datingscout 15 years ago, and today he is one of the leading Online Dating Experts. He is the author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies" and the author of the Internet's largest online dating study analyzing 20 Million Profile Pictures with artificial intelligence. Chris Pleines holds a master degree in media science and appeared in numerous television interviews and publications to give expert advice as well as tips about online dating.