He might look at you like you are a goddess incarnate the first time and then, a week old chopped liver the next. For all we know, you can look like Megan Fox, but in the world of romance, there are still a handful of ways that can turn any guy off.
Believe it or not, there are things we subtly do that can confirm that you are not the girl he wants to date. Some of these turn-offs can be real deal breakers for men and sometimes, we don't even know that we are guilty of these.
Ouch, but it's most definitely true.
Take Jennifer, for example. Jen is your average pretty girl that on paper can do absolutely no wrong. But here are some of the things she can do that can make any man run screaming in the opposite direction.
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In Public Places, He'll Hate It . . .
1. When she talks too much . . . about herself
She asks him how his day went, but before he can utter a single word, she goes off on a never-ending tirade about every little thing that happened to her. Jennifer makes him think that it is all about her and have little care for what he has to say. This just pushes him into thinking that she's a narcissistic person who only cares about herself.
2. When she continually has terrible things to say about everyone and everything
There's no pleasing Jennifer. There will always be something wrong in the food, the maître d', and even the lighting in the damn restaurant.
When she bad mouths people, that'll only get him wondering what bad things she can say about him when he's out of earshot. Plus, no one really likes a Fussy Felicia.
3. When she teases him in front of everyone about something that hits too close to home
It's one thing to remark on something that may rub his ego the wrong way, but to do so in front of everyone is another thing. When Jennifer kicks a man down and adds salt to the wound by doing so in front of others, he probably won't be calling her anytime soon. A little tip: practising tact can go a long way (and for Pete's sake, don't comment on the bald spot atop his head).
4. When she is on her phone all the time
Jennifer forgets the human being seating right across from her and becomes way too absorbed with her phone. Not only is she becoming a lousy date, but she is also sending out a message that she isn't making any effort to be present in the moment for him. He'll probably think that he's better off dating a solid brick wall.
5. When she changes her voice to talk Britney-like
There's a reason why the baby voice trend has died in the early 2000s and why it must remain dead. No one wants to date a grown-ass woman pretending to be a baby. It isn't cute. Not only will it be painfully obvious for the guy, but Jennifer is effectively killing her chances by coming across as an unattractive, annoying phoney.
In Bed, He'll Hate It. . .
1. When she plays dead
During sex, Jennifer just lays there and does nothing. Men feel pleasure when they see their partners enjoying themselves. If she only lays there like some starfish, he'll think that she's not into him or worse, a selfish partner.
2. When she turns into a porn star
There are times when Jennifer can go way overboard and sound like an over-enthusiastic depraved wild animal. While guys like enthusiasm, too much of it can come across as fake and trying too hard.
3. When she doesn't initiate intimacy
Jennifer expects the guy to do all the work all the time. Men have feelings, too. They want to feel wanted, and above all else, they want to feel pleasure. If Jennifer does not reciprocate, it will seem as if she is uninterested in fulfilling his needs.
4. When she kisses with her lips closed
Kissing with lips sealed is similar to kissing an unresponsive rock. How would Jen like to kiss a cold stone? Of course, she wouldn't. No one does. A guy wouldn't be able to amp up the "sexy" if his partner is an unwilling and immovable statue.
5. When she manhandles his hidden jewels
As we said before, enthusiasm is good, but too much of it can be a boner killer. Literally. Jennifer thinks that the tighter you grip, the more intense the sex can be. That, we are afraid, is dead wrong. There is a fine line between good pain and just really a horrible one. Find the line, Jen.
With Friends, He'll Hate It . . .
1. When she is paranoid and wants to read all the conversations he has with friends
Jen continually wants to read every direct message and group chat he has with his friends. Not only is this a violation of his privacy, but she is sending a message that she has zero trusts in him. He'll probably think she's crazy and dump her paranoid ass for good.
2. When she guilt trips him into not spending time with his friends
Jen doesn't let him live his life. Instead of giving him some much-needed downtime with his bros, she manipulates him into staying at home with her.
Eventually, he'll get fed up and think that she's too much of a bother. After all, he wants a girlfriend. He already has a mother, thank you very much.
3. When she gets jealous of every female friend he has
It is completely possible to have a platonic friendship with anyone from the opposite gender. But Jen places malice to things that shouldn't have any. Whenever he introduces a female friend or mentions a girl in the passing, Jen experiences several degrees of jealousy.
4. When she talks trash and judges his friends right away
Men hate it when their girlfriends judge their friends right away. Listen, friends are an extension to a man's personality. When Jen bad mouths his friends, she is also insulting him and his judgment in people. Plus, she forgets that his friends are probably there even before she was in the picture.
5. When she does not make an effort to befriend his friends
They say that a way through a man's heart is his stomach. While that is true, an even quicker way is through his friends. When Jen does not make any attempts to get along his buddies and puts him in the position to choose between her or them, he will mostly like resent her for it.
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In General, He'll Hate It. . .
1. When she smells like a funeral parlor
Jen sprays on this really overpowering perfume that rivals that of a skunk. His nose probably can't bear to be near her. Scents can be a very delicate matter. They either draw a person in just as easily as they push people out. When her smell can fill up the entire room, that is never a good thing.
2. When she talks about her ex a lot with more passion than necessary
Jen goes on and on about her ex and if he hears one more thing about "Roger," he will lose it. Being completely open about past relationships is okay. But to constantly talk about it can drive anyone up the wall.
3. When she chews with her mouth open
Jen turns into Chewbacca when she eats, and it isn't a pretty sight. Some people are particularly sensitive when it comes to food. If a guy is really bothered with food being spewed everywhere, it is only a matter of time before he stops calling.
4. When she lies even about the smallest of things
Jen likes to be a know-it-all. She constantly makes stuff up. It gets way more embarrassing than it should be when he finds out all her little, white lies. This will get him thinking that if she can lie about her college degree, what other big things will she cover-up in the future?
5. When she puts on the "dumb blonde" act to get his attention
Jen is guilty of putting on the dumb act because she thinks it will stroke his ego. While men like to be the knight in shining armour at times, the bimbo act can get annoying and real old quick. He doesn't want to constantly do things for her, especially the simplest of tasks. He'll just get the impression that Jen isn't being real and tries to manipulate him into taking care of her. Not that good, Jen.
6. When she has no self-esteem.
Jen is dissatisfied with herself, and it creates some fissures in her relationship. No one, not even him, can do anything about it except for herself. When a person is insecure, it can cause any relationship to be toxic. To avoid that, Jen needs to focus on herself and learn how to build her self esteem.
What You Can Do Differently from Jennifer
- Be mindful of your surroundings and how other people feel. Practise tact and feel the room. Just because you can say and do things doesn't mean you should. Ask yourself, will my actions hurt the people around me?
- Not everything should be about you. Ask about himself and get to know him. Communication is a two-way street. It is a give and take.
- Let him have a life. He had a life before you came along and things shouldn't drastically change just because you are there. Let him have some quality time with his buds. If he is busy with work and other commitments, know that that shouldn't diminish what you two have.
- Get busy and focus on yourself. Instead of waiting on him, get busy and channel your focus into other things. Go to the gym, catch up with your best pals, pamper yourself in the salon. Have stories to share at the end of the day.
- Just be you. No personas needed. Don't put an act just to impress him. It'll even be more embarrassing once he notices it. Let him know the real you. Practice being comfortable in your skin.
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Not to worry, you can still be named Jennifer and not lose a guy in just a few days. If you want to attract a guy or keep your current relationship strong, you might want to avoid doing some of the things stated above.
Be your real, authentic self. He'll know a phoney act when he sees one. Also, be more sensitive and think about things beyond yourself. After all, a relationship takes effort from both sides.